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Tuesday, July 30, 2002  
once more with feeling

bet you thought i was going to wax adorific on the musical Buffy ep, right? noooooooooooooo, but thank you for playing. although, i can wax, mind you, cuz it rocked, but, not today, cuz then the songs will all resurface, and Anya's retro pastiche is the worst, and then i'll start making up words again, and it'll just go downhill from there.

he sucks, we hate him, we happily berate him, it's wrong his songs are always stuck inside my head. uhm, yeah. see?

no, today i want to touch on last week's ep of Farscape, John Quixote, just one more time and, add my feelings.

the ep starts to gel in my head when John kills John Headroom and he and Chiana step out of the elevator to battle Harvey-the-butler and Crais-the-ogre over Aeryn-the-southern-belle-freak-er-princess. (if he started humming "Hey Jude", i would have had a coronary right there, i swear.) but when we get to the scene where John "frees" Zhaan and she turns to Stark telling him to be quiet, well, the Right Brain and i were floored, amazed, flabbergasted and, hey, shocked, right into complete silence. and then i suddenly got the whole ep. the scene continues to play out with such eery similarity to the crucial scene in our very first spec script East of Hezmana that it became the most vindicating and creatively satisfying moment of my entire life.

JQ was EOH...the same destination by a different path. it was so frelling fabulous to know that we had grasped the character of John Crichton on a level that Ben Browder had. we couldn't be more proud, and, absent us getting hired by the Kemperian, JQ afforded us the opportunity to *see* EOH on screen. what an amazing feeling. the only thing that could ever top that moment in time would be us getting hired. somebody? anybody? and don't forget the Newcastle, cuz it's all about the beer, baby.

the ep constructs were the same.....Stark, Zhaan, creepy Zhaan, Crais, Harvey, Scorpius...Rygel nearly gets spaced in ours, Rygel dies twice in JQ...hell, we even had a Scarran and a Sheyang. the only thing we didn't have was a duck in a filing cabinet.

it was a game based on the neural patterns of Stark, and a part of Stark blamed Crichton for Zhaan's death, and Crichton blamed Crichton for Zhaan's death...and Gelina's, and Crais', and Harvey, and Aeryn. (on a side note for those that thought it was a continuity error, Stark's mask was on the wrong side, and he had hair, to visually cue the viewer that it wasn't the "real" Stark.) the game was for JQ what Stark's hallucinations-made-manifest was for EOH. the anger of one and the guilt of the other just seemed logical.

i was going to continue here about the tag, and about the last scene in the tag being the LEAST important thing that happened in the tag, but i think i'll leave that analysis to the Right Brain, because i know she's already blogging it and she'll cover it better, and she rocks, so hey, go read it there. or rather here

the last thing i will comment on, though, is how *much* regard Ben Browder must have for his co-stars that he wrote them such frelling cool parts in that ep. i couldn't think of a more generous way to express my affection for people that i respected as actors. what a classy guy, and an amazing talent, on a production overflowing with classy folks of amazing talent. the cast and crew of Farscape rock.

Geek Fest 2002

check it out. the Whole Brain and the Brain Stem, and i think i mentioned this before, are going to Comic-Con, this weekend in San Diego. the Whole Brain will be in attendance on thursday, friday and saturday, and if we fail to score Virginia Hey's autograph on one of those days, then we're going to make a speed run on sunday. Skippy, (the golden hued ride'o'theleftbrain) can make the run in about 2 parsecs on a good day, assuming of course that no one's been frelling with the hyperdrive.

we'd *love* to meet any fellow Farscape fans that will be in attendance....hell, *any* fellow fans that frequent our neck of cyberspace. just send any part of the Whole Brain an email and we'll set up an '87, er, a rendevous, wait, that didn't sound right, uhm, yeah, we'll uhm, yeah, we'll pick a place to say hi, yeah, that's it. *whew*

so anyway....why are we going to Comic-Con?

well, we've got to get our geek on, of course. JJ Abrams is going to be there, he of Alias fame, and we're hoping to be able to apologize to him for that whole Words-Into-Pictures feminazi "girlz kick ass" debacle. *shiver* The Whedon's going to be there. Hillary Swank (new movie), Michael Biehn (new show), Ray Bradbury, Devon Grayson (the frelling coolest chick comic book writer), Ted Raimi (Joxer), the WETA Workshop from LOTR, a showing of the season finale of Smallville, exclusive promo footage for Birds of Prey, exclusive footage for LOTR: The Two Towers, and the list goes on and on and on. panels on copyright law, how to break into the biz, how to pitch to Paramount a Trek story ("so, basically, we just need to write a show where the characters have absolutely no character and we're good, yeah?"), panel on how to write for Dark Horse....

we're also going to very stealthily try to generate interest for Angus. the Whole Brain is currently quite busy working on the website stuff, and organizing all the relevant materials to register Angus with the WGA before we officially "unveil". groovy.

so now that i've rambled enough

i was going to rant yesterday about SoCal traffic, and how to fix it, theleftbrain's "slinky" theory of traffic , but i was at work, and the frelling wellnitzes actually expected me to, you know, work. some people's employers. *sheesh* so then i figured i'd just do it today, but the Farscape thing was left undiscussed so it got bumped again. so i guess i'll save it for later, and, probably mine it as source material for Jenny Hammer.

some final thoughts

the RB and i were talking after i got home from work last night, topics were of course all over the place, and we got somehow to the topic of doodling, a talent neither one of us possesses. (i won't even attempt to recreate the stream of consciousness path that brought us to doodling, so don't ask.) we shared the extent of our doodle abilities, which includes...coloring in the tiny circles made of letters on writing tablets...starting with a dot of ink and turning it into a really large, mostly square, blob of ink...coloring in the two really tiny lines that run down the left side of steno pads...dren like that. and that rather bizarre conversation led me to an astounding, and life-altering realization.

i write because i can't doodle.

and the door still isn't painted. frell.


9:30 PM

Sunday, July 28, 2002  
aw krep. forgot to recommend cue dramatic music...the tv project. see new links under the added link header. i love cut and paste.

10:52 PM

something vexes thee?

i hate it when i get bored. it means i surf. with no purpose. it's like rambling, only with even less coherence. it takes me to websites i'd normally avoid like the plague. the source of my surfing was to confirm pricing for Comic-Con in San Diego, the one that starts thursday. the Right Brain and Brain Bit and myself will be attending. we hope to seed some interest for Angus. so, off i go to the website for Comic-Con, and lo and behold, the net suddenly can't find the web address. grrr. i'm cool with the occasional "server not found" error message cuz the site can't load for whatever reason, but getting a "hey that site don't exist" message, that vexes me. i've been to the site. i know it exists. i've spent hours there. what can i say, i'm a geek. i am now terribly vexed. not to mention, still horribly bored. i hate being vexed. it's, well, vexing.

so off i go in search of alternate sources of intel for Comic-Con. on the way, i snurched some cool intel about "League of Extraordinary Gentlemen", currently being filmed, along with some pics for "Daredevil", also cool. checked out the TNT website for "Witchblade", thinking there might be a link to the con, (but noooooooooo), and found a groovy portion of the website with abbreviated police reports related to the eps, evidence listings, set pics, dren like that. it was neat, but not at all relevant to my she said with a hobbit inflection.

skip ahead, skip ahead, skip ahead

i try some different search parameters and i come up with the following site. a message board. a message board devoted to diehard Star Wars fans. it makes me want to reconsider my sometime geek status. *shiver*
there's some great intel about Comic-Con, mind you, for which i am grateful, but the devotion to SW is bordering on, well, creepy. one poster has a sig line that brags about what place in line that person was for Episode II. ick. a movie in search of real dialogue....and a director...and producers that will point a gun at the director and utter those necessary words, "step away from the CGI and no one will get hurt." a beautifully filmed, intricate, excellent story spanning time and space with arguably the most horrific, pedantic, obtuse and obsequious dialogue ever uttered since Dynasty.

i am doomed to remain vexed, and bored, and without the relevant intel about Comic-Con. *sigh* the search continues.

goings-on inside the left brain

brain is completely and totally obsessed with Angus stuff. need to have a whole plethora of stuff up on the site before we leave for San Diego. on the upside, we've got a spine. wait. that didn't sound right. the *story* has a spine. that's it. we're happy. i'm still vexed of course, but it's mollified somewhat by my Angus happy.

the brain's obsession is impeding with 610, and alas, it will probably do so for a bit longer. i know, i suck. *sheepish grin*. unfortunately, the development of Angus takes precedence because it could lead to paying employment. so, for the immediate future, read 10 days?, 610 doesn't get my attention. a thousand apologies and your continue patience. hmmm...that seems to be a theme today, but we won't get into that.

and speaking of employment

i work for a police department, for those that don't know. just took a call from some irate, jackass, all riled up because there was a car parked on the street and it had a For Sale sign in it. i'm sorry, but who the fuck cares. how could that possibly impede on anyone's quality of life? what, he run out of small animals to torture? all the kids he shoots rock salt at run away from him today? wife leave him for another woman? dog eat his prozac?

and it wasn't enough that i told him we'd have someone check the car, he felt the need to wax obnoxious about how long it would take to get a cop sent out. hey, ya know what, buddy? we're working two different hit and run accidents with injuries, another accident that started as a hit and run until a witness told us the supposed suspect left the scene after getting beaten to a pulp by one of the other parties involved, a fight call where a neighbor beat up his neighbor's kid over an air compressor argument (hey pal, wanna call us back when you're sober?), a couple of tweakers hallucinating a break in to their apartment, and other sundry stupid calls.

the idiocy of the Hellmouth (my city) knows no bounds. it is the Hellmouth, too, i'm so not exagerating. all roads lead to my city. it either started here, ended here, the suspect lives here, the victim ate here, the witness had sex here, somebody's sister's cousin's brother's dog bit a priest all finds it's way here. and just to remove any last vestiges of doubt, the season finale of Angel was filmed at our drive-in. swear.

i'm still bored

all that flurry of activity and i remain bored. i'd like a real crime for $500, Bob. i'd like to focus on fixing the horrendous working conditions that i exist in, get some respect within my own organization for the job that dispatchers do, and not have to waste my time fighting with staff about what color pants i wear because some wannabe chief-by-injection decides it's not acceptable for us to wear black bdu's like patrol does. ya know what wench? if you actually bothered to do your job you wouldn't have any time left over to poke your snout where it don't belong. grrrrrr. i remain vexed. *sigh*

won't somebody hire us please? anybody? we'll work for beer. but not dren beer. no coors, no bud. we drink Newcastle like water. mmmmmmmm Newcastle. anybody?

6:14 PM

Friday, July 26, 2002  
John Quixote November 15, 2001....the contest turned us down....just for the record.

that was so cool

now we know what that scene might have looked like. thanks Ben.

11:53 PM

Saturday, July 20, 2002  
Farscape, Farscape, Farscape

i think that "Natural Election" just nailed down what i love most about Farscape....the fact that i can't predict it. that's what makes it so special to me, well, that and the stellar acting. i am pleased that one of my guesses about Aeryn's status was correct, and i'm even more pleased that the guess was only sorta right. Aeryn either has about a month or so to release the baby from stasis, if the father is Velorek or some other PK, or, she has about seven years if the father is Crichton. snazzy twist, that.

Aeryn, Aeryn, Aeryn.

what a beautiful character they've created. , this, btw, is a roundabout continuation of the rant that i posted the first half of a few days ago, uhm, sort of. Aeryn finally seems free of the burden of being a former PeaceKeeper and she gets to be simply Aeryn. the character is more open, not hiding from her own emotions, no longer seeing her feelings as a weakness. it's very liberating. Aeryn came back at peace about the two John Crichtons, in that, she no longer sees them as two different individuals. that is a *huge* emotional step for her. and she's also comfortable outwardly displaying her feelings about her crewmates, who are her friends, and it matters to her that they are her friends. the expression on her face and her almost desperate reach for Chiana, and the tender caress of the younger woman's hair, spoke volumes in "Promises" about how Aeryn had changed and how much she *needed* her friends on Moya. she doesn't want to isolate herself anymore. most importantly, she's mourned the loss of her mate and recognizes that she only lost a part of him, not all of him, because John Crichton is still there.

and speaking of segues

John, what a frelling fabulous place to take the character. he offered his heart to Aeryn on a platter, with full knowledge of the possible pain and risks involved, and she chose to leave....because she *had* to. and now John's doing what he *has* to do. he's safeguarding his own heart from a pain that would push him beyond redemption, and maybe even sanity.

John waited when he first met Aeryn, and he was patient and trusted and then he got hurt and lost Aeryn to a rival...and his "rival" was himself. again, he waited when the two crews reunited and he trusted and he tried to understand, and he had faith in their love, and yet Aeryn left. then he got separated from the rest his family in the UT's, those very people who helped him cope, and he drifted alone in space until he was rescued by a dying Leviathan, left to wrestle with his inner-demons alone.

spending time alone inside one's own mind after you've been hurt by someone, it makes you quite resilient, and, independent, and if you come out the other side intact, you come out stronger, but...different. you become less willing to, no scratch that...i was going to say less willing to open yourself up again, but it's not that. it's like, where before you may have felt like you *needed* to be with that person, you don't feel that way anymore. you get to a point where you recognize the difference between being alone and being lonely, which aren't the same thing, and you realize that it's okay to be alone. you are not lesser for it, nor weaker. sure, you'd rather share your life with someone, but it doesn't seem like an endless quest that must be met or suffer unhappiness. it's simply a different state of being. the requirements, then, become more stringent to leave that different state of being.

i think that's where John is now. he can't trust her with his heart yet because he doesn't understand what's happened, and happening, with her. and he's been alone a while and it didn't destroy him. i'd like to say that Aeryn and John have switched, emotionally, but that would be oversimplifying emotional states that are far too complex. both characters have evolved so very much. i can only imagine what a joy they are to portray. which leads me to the tag and one of the most compelling scenes that Browder and Black have given us. they hit it every time. the emotions of their characters reach their eyes every time. not melodrama. just truth. the truth of conflict, and love irrevocably mixed with fear and doubt. "Just come back, when you get your story straight." *ouch*

meanwhile back at the ensemble

can i get a "hell yeah!" for my girl, Chi! Gigi, baby, you seriously, seriously rock. she doesn't just portray Chiana with her heart, but with her whole body, which is who Chiana is. she leaves nothing back. Chiana's time away from Moya was a living hell, and i like that she's not pretending that it wasn't. Pip is edgier, darker, something more, but still Pip at the core.

Sputnik's not just a spaceship anymore i love that we don't know a frelling thing about Sikozu...that she's really bloody smart...knows Leviathans better than their crews....and kinda creepily, she's willing to take Scorpy at face value. er, no pun intended there. she's gotta be just all kinds of impressed that Scorpy survived Grayza's assassination attempt and showed up on Moya before the rest of the crew did. the best part about her is that she seems to be a walking contradiction. one minute, it appears that she's selling out for her own safety, the next, she's proactively involved in bailing the group out of dren. that makes Sikozu, like Grayza, completely unpredictable, and *that's* what makes the character appealing to me.

glub, glub got seriously, time-consumingly distracted by some groovy geek stuff that, i think, has gotten me *that much* closer to the main plot for 610. color me happy. time to run. gotta get my geek on.


5:08 PM

Friday, July 19, 2002  
virtually lfn

ya know, i had high hopes for 610 this week. i did. i swear. the Right Brain and i went to the office'o'Starbucks, all set to work, but i couldn't start. of course there was the distraction of the man and woman that came in for coffee that are *clearly* having an affair. their body language made me want to scream "get a room, already!". hork. alas, though, that wasn't the problem. 610 is still missing something. i have the B line, the C line, hell, i've even got a D line *and* an E line...i'm just missing the damned A line. i hate it when that happens. that whole, gotta-have-a-plot conundrum. i am pleased to report, though, that over the last couple of days i've been able to flesh out one of the sub-plots in my head so that it becomes a common event done differently. it involves Darwin, and it'll be something other than he expects, which he'll find disorienting. a scene that was originally conceived as the teaser will probably open Act Two, or maybe even Act Three. i seem to be continuously rearranging stuff in the ep, almost like i'm playing a puzzle in my head and i can't quite decide which piece goes where.

on a music note, Pete Yorn will find his way into 610, along with Fiona Apple. now if my A line could find it's way into 610, i'd be a happy girl.

the uncharted territories...

...that are my brain, seem to find themselves almost constantly contemplating the crew of Moya. (hmmmm...wonder if they've got the A line to vlfn? or maybe, MIJ? i should ask 'em.) been reading the RB's notes on Chapter 13 of UFO. that chapter's gonna seriously rock when it's finished. her grasp of the subtleties of character makes me all shiver-y. we had a brief chat on how cool it was that the Kemper decided mid-ep not to kill off Chiana in "Durka Returns" because of how much Gigi Edgley brings to the show. i love Pip. i love everything about Pip. i especially love the very kewl relationship she has with Crichton.

which reminds me, i need to finish part II of my Farscape rant, but, not tonight. it's time for bed now, as i have to be at work at 1000 and it's 0120. stupid work. doesn't anyone want to hire us as writers? please? we work for beer. i mean, cheap. i said cheap. but not cheap beer. just so that's clear. yeah. anybody?


1:21 AM

Tuesday, July 16, 2002  
woo hoo!!!! it worked!!! frelling blogger. the fact that i'm a cheap bastard and don't want to shell out 35 bones right now has absolutely nothing to do with anything. *pout* i've been trying to post that damned blog for 3 bloody days. 3. count 'em. un, deux, trois. 3. grrrr.

now i'm happy. i'm just gonna sit over here in my chair bein' happy.

11:41 PM

Sunday, July 14, 2002  
and speaking of Farscape

warning. long-assed-rant to follow. this one's just for Ally and the bbq.

shakes her head. the boards are just killing me. i should stop going. i try to stop going. i really do. but like some horrific crime scene i just can't turn away from, i continue to surf the Farscape message boards. it's like crack for dummies. a disturbingly large portion of posters, the so-called fans, are obtuse, myopic, dense, in more dire need of a neon sign than any human in history, morose, petty, spiteful, condescending, arrogant....hmmm, i sense a theme. and before i continue, let me acknowledge that, by definition, someone could toss my rant under the arrogant column because i believe that i have a better grasp on the show than the very, teeny, itsy bitsy, tiny percentage of fans of Farscape that post on the most popular message boards and i have no problem explaining why...loudly. well, hey, it's my blog, so yeah, i'm gonna be right on my own blog. it is kinda the point.

let's talk about sex

catchy phrase, that. should be a song. i crack myself up. i must confess to my complete shock and amazement that whole pages of message boards were occupied discussing whether John was actually raped by Grayza, whether physical rape is worse than mental rape, whether there is a difference between the two, whether there was even intercourse...i'm sorry, but can i throw up now? they missed the point entirely. Farscape isn't about what's said, it's about what's *not* said, what's *not* shown.

Grayza has some neato creepy gland that secretes a mystery moisture. said moisture renders a male completely at the mercy of an uncontrollable lust. can you imagine being totally unable to exert your will over your own body? how is that not a form of rape? we're talking displays of power here. manipulated sex, or forced or coerced sex, is all about power. Grayza has a weapon, for lack of a better word, of terrifying proportions and she has no qualms whatsoever in using it. Grayza has taken John's enemy, John's arch enemy, and reduced the guy to a drooling pet on a leash. but wait, there's more. in the midst of John's revulsion and fear at what's been done to Scorpius, Grayza releases the mystery moisture and John's physically fighting against his own overwhelming desire for arguably the creepiest PK in the Uncharted Territories and he's losing.

the board freaks are complaining that Grayza's character sucks, was just added for ratings, clothes are open to show off skin to appeal to 14 yr old males, she's a bimbo, blah blah blah. hey, i dig Grayza. she gives me the heebie jeebies. she's dangerous because she's willing to do absolutely anything to get what she wants, and we don't *really* know what that is. sure, we know that she has a fascination with John Crichton cuz the rest of the frelling galaxy does, but what about before that? why did she show up on Scorpy's command carrier? and why specifically then? it should be no skin off the High Command's nose when Scorpius solves the wormhole problem...i mean, who the frell else has any clue about it in the PK's? no one. so why not give him all the time in the world? keeps him the frell out of people's hair, unless of course, he's pissed someone off along the way, or somebody knows he's very close and they want the power that will come from the discovery. in which case, Grayza's arrival becomes quite timely. so yeah, i find her compelling precisely because of insufficient intel. and i ain't no 14yr old male either.

testosterone is highly overrated

not keeping the bitching and moaning restricted to Grayza, i lost count of the number of posts complaining at the increase in female characters. an increase in cool female characters is a bad thing? ya know what? blow me. i am so sick of hearing women bitch about how there aren't enough good women characters in film and television. so here's a show that trots em out in droves and the first complainers are the chick fans. give it a rest already. you're watching an ensemble show. sure the main character is John Crichton, but the show works because of the interaction between him and the rest of the crew of Moya and, in turn, their interaction with the other characters in the UT's. the chicks on Farscape rock. all of em. they are strong and complicated and defy an easy pigeon hole, and man, can they act. jeezum pete! but all the whining fans see is a potential wedge between John and Aeryn. hey, ya know what? the show ain't about John and Aeryn, it's about the whole frelling cast. you want it to be about John and Aeryn? write a fan fic and shut up already.

step away from the hallucinations and no one will get hurt

so let's start with Madge, er, the Old Woman and a really huge assumption. Madge was brought in for a reason. to make John choose what's most important to him, what his personal goals are and should be, how those goals affect his crewmates and the woman he loves more than his own life.

characters have to evolve or risk becoming petroleum products.

John's made friends, good friends that have become family. he's seen things, done things, that have forever changed the man that got blown through a wormhole and his family has been there for him every time, in one form or another. during his time in the UT's, John held two ideals in his mind, one of going back to Earth, the Earth that used to be his home but can't be any longer, and the other of keeping his family on Moya together and blending them with the Earth that was pre-UT's. but neither could be true in it's idealized state. he had to choose. he knew he had to choose. intellectually, he knew it could never be like the dreams in his mind, but emotionally, he refused to accept it. he hoped he could somehow be different and have it all. enter Madge, she-who-blows-crack-in-John's-face. she took his fears, made them manifest and showed him that the ideal is unreasonable. he needed to decide which life was more important to him, where his home *really* was. and so he did. he chose his family in the UT's, and then they all left him. not because they didn't love him anymore, but because they too had inner choices to make. demons to battle and scores to settle.

on to the assumption

the huge assumption that everyone has been making was about what Madge whispered in John's ear and "hid" from his awareness. and i quote, "Her life...her world...on her will know...Aeryn is with child."

nowhere in that bit of dialogue does it say that Aeryn is pregnant right now.

look at what Madge does, in DWTB and in Season 4 so far. she shows John alternate possibilities...past, present, future. and watch her speech patterns and body language. especially the scene where she and John reunite on Arnesska in Season 4. it's like she's having 3 or 4 different conversations with herself, or she's in several different places in her head at once, and then "one of her" recognizes John. what if Madge can "see" space-time, see the multitude of possible quantum permutations? hell, she's got the extra eye for it. remember the child's tile that John finds from one of her crack-induced visions...what if that was the first time that one of her visions was from the same timeline that they were currently in? then the tile would really be there, because it was there in the past, not just the possibility of one past.

so what Madge whispered to John was one possibility of his future with Aeryn. i think Madge was trying to give John hope for his trust in his love for Aeryn and hers for him. "Her life...her world...on her time... the whispering was hidden from John because it was only a possibility and he wasn't ready for it yet, and Aeryn *needed* to leave. she *needed* to find out who Aeryn Sun is, as an individual, not a former peacekeeper, not as mate to John, but just Aeryn. Madge knew that John would try to stop Aeryn if he knew because he'd likely misinterpret what he was given.

and that's just what the fans are doing. misinterpreting what's been given. let me end this here, because it's already obscenely long and i've got some other stuff to do...i need to finish the Farscape babes rant...the Stargate does X-Files commentary...and the trip to San Diego...i do *not* start all my stories with "we were so drunk":::stomps foot:::

but i'm going to leave you with a couple of thoughts to chew on.

thought #1

Pilot was lying in the teaser of "Promises". think about what Sikozu said to Scorpius...."a damaged Leviathan, a fraudulent Pilot..."

thought #2

go back and really look at Aeryn's face in the tag of "Promises". it takes a really long time for her facial expression to change after John's question. Aeryn is frelling ecstatic to be back on Moya, because it's *home*. she's happy to see John, happy to be back in his company. so much weight has been lifted off her shoulders. the smile on her face when he asks her doesn't change to anger, or sadness, or even shock...the look is wistful. like, she doesn't quite know what he's talking about at first, and then when she does, she wishes that it were true. her body language doesn't change at all either. no defeat, no resentment, no tension...just the peace that comes from being home.

1:15 AM

Monday, July 08, 2002  
a baby blog

with help from the Right Brain, who rocks muchly, i've added a couple of links and a graphic that's really groovy. we snurched the DRD from farscape, and i *highly* recommend the site for screencaps. i've links to the home board and to the blog'o'the RB, cuz, well, hello, they're cool. i've also linked to the Daily Bleat because the guy is unbelievably witty and astute. take the time to look around the rest of his site too, he's got some cool slices of Americana he's collected. the only other fandom link you'll see is to Farscape Ally...for a few reasons. Ally and the BBQ are seriously groovy folks and have treated the Whole Brain so superbly it's humbling. that, and the site is tres cool. the other reason is that it's not a traditional "fandom" site. i find i now pretty much loathe traditional fandom sites and go out of my way to avoid them. they are myopic in the extreme. and to keep myself from turning this baby blog entry into a full on rant on fandom, which is coming later i assure you, i'm going to sign off for now and go back to work on 610 because the fabulous readers have been waiting patiently for too frelling long.


11:24 PM

ergo sum scribo

latin for, "i think, therefore i write", and hey, that would be me. and speaking of writing, some fic updates.

virtual la femme nikita

ok, yeah, i suck, so sue me. okay, wait, don't sue me. actually, go ahead if you really want to, cuz i'm beyond broke, thus, you would get nary a dime. about the only thing i have of value besides my brain, which is open to interpretation, is my dog, and if you really want the speedbump, i might just have to kill you, so yeah, that whole suing me thing is probably a bad idea any way you look at it. *ahem*

so anyway, episode 610. i think the last couple of pieces of that hoary bastard just fell into place.

have i mentioned that i need to plot some suitable revenge on the Right Brain for suggesting a season theme so complicated it makes my head spin? but hey, the season would definately suck without it, so i'll just stop my whining now. yeah, that'll last long. LOL

found some more cool tunes to use, which always inspire me. i muse a LOT in my car, usually to and fro work. crank the tunes, seriously exceed the posted speed limit, run plotlines through my is good. my mind also seems to have a disturbing relationship with my shower. just being in close proximity to my shower gets me all kinds of ideas, helps me sort out others, and just generally inspires my internal muse. i'm a freak, i know. the RB and i have a running joke, well, several actually, about our future production offices having a standalone shower in the conference room, and probably my office. i can just see it. some kewl star wanders in for a meeting and eyes the shower.

"uhm, she has a shower in her office." sage nodding follows. "yes she does." a puzzled look. "it's, uhm, not connected to a water source." a shrug. "doesn't everybody?"

so, what music inspires me for 610? Puddle of Mudd will get at least one tune, probably two. Paul Oakenfold's Ibiza disc 2 will get some airplay. hmmm, what else? oh yeah. got some ZZ Top planned. those boys always rock. a moody Mandalay tune will score a bar scene quite nicely. not sure what else as i still haven't broken the ep completely. but hey, it gets serious attention today, going into my weekend. that whole Monday being my Friday thing can really throw ya for a sense of spacetime.

Marshmellows in Jello, part II

uhm, yeah. so, how about them Dodgers? i hear they suck this season. la la la la la. :D


the RB and myself got a lot of Angus done when last it was my weekend. we had just started to break Act Three and then i suggested we leave, on accounta Starbucks was trying to mimic the Arctic in their dining room, and we could continue to work at Casa de Guppy because i wanted to finish painting the front door, and start painting the trim. bad idea.

note to self: avoid the phrase "i need to finish painting the door" as all sorts of house project redecoration tends to ensue.

so i think we'll try Angus again on the upcoming downtime and see if we can't break the rest of the ep. finishing the premiere would be so groovy.


a plot, a plot, my kingdom for a plot!


from today's Daily Bleat...."got to get your geek on." ya just gotta love a guy who can so smoothly pervert a street phrase, *and*, he drinks Hornitos Tequila. *sigh*.

6:46 PM

Sunday, July 07, 2002  
"...I pledge allegiance to my Flag and the Republic for which it stands, one nation, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all."

so wrote Francis Bellamy in his original 1892 pledge. yes, my brain is still stuck there. while i admit to frequently having the attention span of a goldfish, glub, glub, stuff of import tends to percolate in my subconscious for many long days. thus i found myself at work, picking up a copy of Newsweek and reading more about the California Supreme Court's "one nation under God" decision. i commented on it to a coworker and she promptly disagreed with me, essentially telling me to shut up. uhm, no. her reply to my comment about those Americans who don't believe in God having to say the contentious phrase? "then they don't have to participate."

"they don't have to participate."

in a nation founded on the construct of citizen participation at the grassroots level, that statement becomes arguably the dumbest thing ever uttered. sure, they don't have to say the pledge, but then what does that imply? if you don't like God, frell off? or, if, like me, you believe in God but believe the Republic should be a separate entity in a pledge of support and defense of that Republic, you can frell off too? bite me. the whole bloody point *is* participation. who do you think the founding fathers were? a silversmith, a banker, an inventor, a farmer...local schmucks essentially, that didn't want to live under the yoke of a tyrannical government structure. a government that....wait for it......told you what to say.

if the current climate of insisting on tying the country to a belief in God follows to its logical conclusion, then the new parameter for citizenship in the United States becomes a publicly professed belief in the aforementioned God, which goes directly against everything this nation stands for. i refer the reader to the Daily Bleat and i quote the author from his blog dated 9-12-01. written the day after the terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon, it's quite a read in its entirety.

"A concept. A bold proposition: citizenship is not based on blood, on clan, on tribe, but on a belief in an ideal."

a belief in an ideal. not a belief in a religion, or a deity, but a belief in an ideal. the ideal of democracy, the ideal of freedom. the ideal of self-governance. he goes on to write....

"5:03 I voted. Went to the polling place with Gnat in the stroller, under the small American flag stuck in the door frame at the school. Lots of people voting - the lady who took my information said they had unusually heavy turnout for a mere city primary. ìI think voting means something more today,î I said. ìI think youíre right,î she said. I wore, for the first time, that little I VOTED sticker. That is what we are, and they arenít. I live in a country where a guy who wants to be mayor opposes the established regime, and doesnít get shot, jailed, or disappeared. That seems quite precious right now. More so than before......So when I heard a plane overhead tonight, it was wrong. Turns out they were military jets circling around, securing the airspace. Just heard an unusually loud one, and I flinched; what had been an ordinary sound, an ordinary annoyance, was now a dire portent. Is this the future? Fearing the sound of every jet? HELL no. I am not going to live in fear. They want my freedom, my peace of mind? Come and get it. I won't do your work for you."

"I won't do your work for you."

if we dismantle ourselves from the inside out, then we do the work of the terrorists for them. the strength of our nation lies not in the beliefs and opinions of the majority, but in our long-held practice of protecting the minority. like being innocent until proven guilty no matter how many people say you did it....can ya prove i did it? then don't let that door hit your ass on the way out, buddy.... like our never-ending struggle with civil rights, striving to reach equality without being patronizing, forcing us to rightfully question our own beliefs and motivations. like our admiration of the little guy, the underdog, the outside shot. that was us 226 years ago. we took on the strongest nation in the world at the time and booted their redcoat-ed asses back across the Atlantic. we *were* the little guy.

citizens MUST participate in this nation if it's going to continue to thrive, continue to reinvent itself, continue to strive to reach its very best self. participation is what started it all in the first place. we have no right to take that away from anyone, not if we want to continue to call ourselves a nation of and about freedom....a democracy....a Republic.

9:55 PM

Saturday, July 06, 2002  
well frell

the randomness of life can leave you breathless at times. got up today and greeted the Right Brain and the pooch and then hopped in the shower. came out to change the pooch's dressing for her spider-bite-yukness and the RB shared some tragic news. a member of our home board was involved in a car accident. his girlfriend, visiting from Denmark, was killed. 62 stitches later, he was released from the hospital to mourn her loss.

a life changed in an instant. a life lost in an instant. an instant. a hummingbird beats its wings about 50 times in an instant. a child's laughter warms a heart in an instant. an instant is all it takes to say "i love you", or, "you matter to me", or, "how are you? wanna go to a movie?". and time is such an odd thing that we usually take so appallingly for granted. mourning the recent loss of my step-father, i think of all of the times i put off the one hour drive to the house to spend time with he and my mother. we can go to the movies next week...i'm too tired...i've got too much stuff to do...i need to finish this damned story. blah, blah, blah. and then he was gone in, what seemed like, an instant.

what would i give now to have that time back? what wouldn't i give.

with the approaching 4th of July holiday, i find the tragedy of the car accident drawing me backwards to that day in 2001 that forever changed the landscape of this nation that i so greatly cherish. it was changed in an instant. the United States was attacked in a way it never had been before. thousands died on that day in September, many from other nations. men and women who will never see their children grow up, make that dentist appointment, cherish their wedding day, play with their dog. occupants of the World Trade Center and the Pentagon, who's only crime was having the misfortune of being at work that day. gone in an instant. travellers in a plane that, knowing of the attacks on their nation, chose to crash the plane, in an instant, sacrificing their lives to save their fellow countrymen. rescue personnel, ordinary citizens, passersby, students, people who died trying to save complete strangers.

how do we honor those lives lost? how do we repay the courage shown that day, and every day after? how do we honor and celebrate the life of a girl from Denmark? how do we heal?

by cherishing the lives we have. recognizing what's of value in our lives and what isn't. taking the time to tell the people we love that we love them. calling a neglected friend. sharing a smile and a kindness with a stranger.

skip ahead, skip ahead, skip ahead

wrote that on Monday...the day of the accident..i couldn't finish it. not that day.

so then, yesterday, our nation celebrated it's Independence Day, although, technically, it's now Saturday, which means it was the day before yesterday, but that whole spacetimecontinuum thing, know. i'm proud of the country i live in, and yesterday, the nation may have really started it's way towards truly healing. i was saddened though, a bit. in our justified pride in our nation, and our outrage at the losses we suffered on Sept 11, we must take care not to become the thing much of the world sees us as...shallow, hypocritical and self-righteous. that we change the rules to serve our own needs...that we don't hold ourselves accountable to our own laws...

the nation needs to remember that we are only one country, and our way is not everyone's way. and while i firmly believe in that way of life, and believe that it is fundamentally the way all humans should strive to live and govern each other, that doesn't give me a right to force that way of life down some else's throat. that kind of reminder, that kind of dialogue isn't taking place in the public discourse. instead, the country is wound up in the debate over "one nation, under God". a debate no less important to be sure, but much too internal and self-absorbed for current world events. the world doesn't revolve around the US, even though it might feel like it does, cuz well, hey, we're cool. but it doesn't. our nation is an infant on the world stage by comparison and there's nothing more obnoxious than a cocky kid, even if that kid is right.

the debate surrounding the Pledge of Allegiance shouldn't be about whether a majority, or minority, or the mean for that matter, believe in God....any God. the debate should be, as it was 226 years ago at our nation's founding, about religious freedom. freedom OF religion and freedom FROM religion. this nation was founded on choice....and if an American so chooses, freedom of religion MUST include a freedom to not believe in God...or a different God...or any God.

if that isn't the case, then we risk becoming any other empire that has fallen throughout history, and justifiably so, thinking that it had some divine right to its own existence.

we do not have a divine *right* to our nation. believers in freedom of thought and expression, freedom from oppression, freedom from a malicious government, freedom of religion, those believers made this country one stone at a house, one road, one day at a time. and those believers weren't all from the same place....didn't all speak the same language...didn't all worship the same faiths...didn't all believe in the same God....they carved the nation out of nothing so that their fellow man could live free. there are countries that kill female babies because they have "no value". countries where humans kill each other, using the name of God like some cheap whore to justify their vengeance. countries where women have no vote, get burned alive, are murdered on their husband's whim. countries where children starve to death on a daily basis. countries that claim to be "nations under God". there is no freedom in those places. no divinity in a place where man subjugates his fellow man, whatever the reason.

i was raised a catholic, and i believe in a God, albeit my beliefs are complicated and, nebulous, for lack of a better word. i sincerely hope that the Divine blesses this nation, this perpetual democratic experiment, but i do not feel that such a belief, such a hoped for blessing, makes me any more a patriot than the next guy. that pledge was originally written as a pledge to defend, protect and support the nation....not a God...not a nation "under God"...just the nation and its freedom. but if we're not careful, not vigilant, not tolerant, that nation could be an instant

1:23 AM

Tuesday, July 02, 2002  
5:18 PM

test again
5:16 PM

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